Don't Be Fatuous, Pork Chop

Silly pork chop, I already made a gravy last time. You're right, this one would be prepared slightly different, but I'm thinking more of glazing you. Wouldn't you like a nice sauce to lie with? What's that?...you want it to be memorable? You're already getting a blog post what's more memor...oh...you say you demand a sweet sauce. Between the two of us, pork chop, you're in no position to demand anything. You're uncooked, already dead, and been manhandled by a number of butchers on your trip to my cutting board. You're about to be trimmed of that fat and slowly reaching a state in which no one could ever love you if not cooked soon. Demand you say? Well let me check the cabinets. How about this:

That's right we're talking the king of dried cranberries. These babies make the snacking process a downright pleasure. Oh pork chop, you're about to enter a euphoric state of affairs. So here's what I was thinking to go with you.

You, pork chop, and three of your brothers
1/2 tsp each of salt, pepper, garlic powder, mixed together
1 medium onion sliced and separated into rings
1/3 cup + 1 TBSP water
1 TBSP brown sugar
1 tsp corn starch
1 tsp corn oil
3 TBSP balsamic vinegar
1/4 cup orange flavored cranberries

So pork chop let's trim that fat and sprinkle you and your buddies with the seasoning mixture. Now let's get you all cooking on medium high heat after heating up the corn oil. When you're all done, take a rest off to the side and keep warm. But, before I do, smile!
Wait, what? You want some buddies? OMFG pork chop! You wait this long to tell me you must have more than a sauce?! Dazzle me, you say. Ah hell pork chop, you're so needy. I'll see what I can do, so just relax.

Now for your sauce. First let's drop the heat back to medium low, about 3 on a 1-10 scale. I'll put the onion and 1 TBSP water in the pan with your juices and cook the onions until they start to brown, stirring periodically. Then I'll toss the brown sugar in and stir until it dissolves, about a minute. Next here comes the rest of the water, balsamic vinegar, and cornstarch. Once stirring that together, I'll add the king in all his glory. Stirring frequently, I'll get your sauce up to the beginning a glaze. I know it's coming to this because it's getting bubbly and thick. Now, pork chop, it's time for you and your buddies to meet the sauce I've prepared for you. Ahhh, you like that don't you. Feels good. OK settle down pork chop. It's time for you to see what I was doing as your surprise.
Give up? They're plantains! Aside from the fact that they're a bitch to get out of their peel when they're actually ripe, they're very good just grilled up. They turn into these sweet little chips that go well with many things. What you see is a live action shot of them in the grill pan. It's a shame they had to bend over and take it because you're being super lame about wanting a partner. So pork chop, I'll present you to the world.

Have Turkey Will Gravy-fy

After spending some time on Stash's website, I thought I'd contribute to society by putting up recipes and such once in awhile. That said, let's start with a dish that's all about leftover turkey. Of course, you can make turkey just for this, but it's really more of a "this will do" recipe. To summarize, you take turkey and make gravy with it. The addition (dare I call it a pairing?) is sweet potato fries, just not fried. Let me explain. I grew up where I can count the number of times we ate out in a year on less than both hands; the majority of which were special occassions. Not to say that we didn't eat well...hardly. This meal goes back to the homely ones that, as a kid, I thought had such a creative spin so it was more than just "leftovers." The other half came from a restaurant where Kelly had sweet potato fries (deep fried of course) and I thought, "Hell I can do this better." What's more, it goes fantastically with my down home cookin' idea. Now to the food.

Turkey Hash and Sweet Potato Fries Ingredients:

Turkey

A Sweet Potato

1/2 Cup Flour

3/4 stick of butter (what's that?...6 TBSP)

Water, about 3 cups possibly more

Bread -> Toast

Seasonings

It's best to start the sweet potatoes since they'll take time in the oven. Go ahead and preheat it to 350. While that's warming up, cut the potatoes into strips leaving the skin, like fries. Spray or brush with some oil and sprinkle with what you like. I used salt, pepper, and paprika. You'll probably add more of each when it comes out of the oven, so set it aside. Next time, I'll probably try some steak seasoning and sea salt.

Slide that into the oven on the top rack for 20 minutes, we'll be back. Next melt the butter in a pan on medium heat. When that's good, start pouring and mixing the flour into with the butter. It should be crumbly when you've got it all mixed. Let that get brown, then start pouring your water in and stirring. Personally, I started with about 2 cups and slowly went up from there to meet my consistency needs. I ended up with about 3 cups of water. You're welcome to use milk instead. Once you've got a gravy going, add your turkey. I didn't mention an amount, because as the rule goes: the more turkey you want, the more you put in. If backed into a corner and forced to tell how much turkey I used rather than hand over my wallet, I'd have to say between 1 1/4 to 1 1/2 cups. Salt and pepper it to your tastes and let everything marry.

By now the fries should be almost done in the oven. When the 20 minutes are over, put the heat up to 385 for about 10 minutes. Afterwards, they should be crisp on the outside and done on the inside. For plating, cover a few pieces of toast with the turkey hash and lay it next to a pile of fries.

Just Another Day in Augusta Co.

myThanksgiving

Dad Me

Situated at the base of the Shenandoah National Park sits Crimora. Housing the abandoned mines which founded the township, Crimora has no stoplights, a fistful of trailer parks, baseboard heating, and a post office right next to a Dollar General and The Village Market. It's my home. Unfortunately, Thanksgiving is long gone and Crimora's 100 miles away. Kelly and I went there first for 1/2 Thanksgivings. Before eating, we were able to snap a few images.

A shot of the mountains (above) and my sister unveiling the oreo cheesecake she made me

Here, Uncle Jimmy takes a shot with the bow.

And now, it's the old man's turn.

Sadly, we had to leave for Inwood the same day so we could have Thanksgiving all over again at our house with Kelly's family. Both meals were gut busters; I wish I could eat like that all the time.

Naming Standards

Kelly and I finally got around to watching the premeire of Top Chef. Throughout the last couple seasons, we've begun a semi-tradition of giving nicknames so we can keep track of the contestants. The newest part of this tradition is that we'll actually document the names. So, here they are:

Cool Lesbo: Jamie

Fake n Bake: Ariane

Bug-Eyed Duck: Carla

Big Normie: Richard

Mr. Embarrassed: Patrick

Weird Face: Lauren

Capt. Kirk: Jeff

Bollywood: Radhika

Beard - 2: Daniel

K Fed: Fabio

Olive Oil: Jill

City Girl: Leah

Man Face: Melissa

Big Screech: Alex

Gansta: Eugene

Finland: Stefan

Wide Biel: Lauren

Bald Wayne: Hosea

After the first episode, Wide Biel and Mr. Embarressed have gone home. The former because of her poor peeling, brunoise, and ultimately her cooking skills (the lack, obviously); the latter was eliminated because he had the least favorite dish. Finland won the first elimination challenge.

The contestants have been conditioned on what to expect from the kitchen. Hopefully no one loses their head in with three minutes to go during the elimination challenge and starts smashing knuckles with a meat tenderizer. Not that that sort of thing is a frequent occurance on Top Chef, but you never know about a room full of strangers all cooking together. Hopefully some psych evalutations were performed to prevent that kind of outburst and prevent potential harm to themselves and others.

I'll have to wait a couple of episodes before I can pick someone to pull for, but after the first episode, I have to lean towards Bald Wayne (partially due to the name) and Capt. Kirk (although he can't hear my cheering because of how awesome he is).

State Of The Dude, Part II

I mean to pick up where I left of in Part I. Let me however journey back a few stanzas to the 5K. The results came in today, and as it turns out I came in 85th at 26:09, with an average mile time of 8:25. There were 185 people overall. You can view the official results here. Kelly's results are there as well. She came in 118th and was 4th in her bracket.

Back to the end. We concluded Saturday night with the Friend's Thanksgiving. The occasion and events are really there in the title. It's a Thanksgiving dinner with a bunch of friends but before the actual holiday. Kelly made her macaroni & cheese. Good thing I was around to bring the cornbread since there were no other entries.

Breakfast with Scott & Beth was a lot of fun and at times, hilarious. Scott and I showcased our manly nature by order Mama's Pancake and Mama's French Toast Breakfasts, respectively. We marvelled at our ability to down two plates full of our title food, eggs, and sausage. Top it off with biscuits & jelly and you've got yourself one helluva meal. After the trip to the store, it was time to play the first ultimate frisbee held on Sunday. I took Jade and I don't think she could've been happier. It's unfortunate that I must say that taking her was the best part. While gameplay was good, the wind was a real downer for the whole day. 

Sunday night finally came and Stash and I got to play GOW2 together for the first time. While very nostalgic, I had some network problems that I'm not convinced are solved. I'm running the xbox wirelessly to our single router. Unfortunately, the router is upstairs so it's got a lot of walls and interference to run through. I changed the broadcast channel in hopes that would help the interference part of the whole equation. I think it helped, but I'm not sure it completely solved the problem.

State Of The Dude, Part I

It's been a week. I've got a few updates. First of all, I want to amend the recipe for the cornbread. Basically, make it two eggs instead of one. You're welcome to take down the milk a little, too...say 3/4 cup?

So I just got off the phone with He-man in good ol' San Fran. The big man's doing well. I'm sure he's got some more great artwork going up soon. Check it out. Speaking of Will, he mentioned I should try making jalapeno and cheese cornbread. Being the genius I am, I forgot to get jalapenos so I'll have to remember that when I go out tomorrow.

Gears of War 2 came out on Friday. Of course I had to get a copy of that. I gotta say it's pretty impressive. The weapons are all really great. The GOW2 team even revamped all the old ones so they perform more realistically, yes including the chainsaw machine gun. I haven't run into all the new weapons yet, but I have gotten to play with the flamethrower and shoot mortars. The monsters are more badass than before and they actually come in hoardes rather than half dozen hanging out in a room or hallway enjoying some coffee and scones. Another great thing about the game is the graphics and environments. The game employs the Unreal 3 engine with a few modifications made to it. Not much else to say except that it's a lot of fun to play. I'm still playing the campaign and working out some network issues (see next post).

Saturday we ran another 5K. This time we didn't have to get up before the sun and head out of state. The whole race was 15 minutes away at the local VA which hosted the fundraising event. The run was actually a lot of fun. What I mean to say is the area in which the run was held was a lot of fun to run in. The run itself made me wonder why I do these things in the first place. Out of a few hundred, I placed 89th coming in at just over 26 minutes. My first mile was about 8:05, the second mile was 16:40, and the third finished at just over 26. As you can tell, my mile times dwindled as the race went on, moreso between miles 2 and 3. Perhaps that was due to the lack of training or all the candy I've had to eat since Halloween drew to a close. The other reason was that by the time mile two was over, I didn't feel like running much longer. Some people from work and I are talking about a 10K come May, so we'll see how that goes.

So I had a little more here but I got tired of writing so I'll make another post tomorrow or sometime in the next couple of days.