Mad Lib Hell

At home, we have a book of Mad Libs that we bought and do once in awhile. These are the latest two we've done. Just thought I'd share...

Advice To Prospective Parents
Congratulations to all of you slimy mothers and crusty fathers. You are about to give birth to a/an laptop. Remember, a happy child comes from a happy junkyard. The arrival of your candle will cause many stiff changes in your life. You'll probably have to get up at four a.m. to give the little button its bottle of saucy milk and change his or her remotes. Later, when he or she is 12 years old and able to walk, you'll hear the patter of little lips around the house. And in no time, your child will be talking briskly, and calling you his or her "bone," and saying things like, "SHIT!" right to your face. It's no wonder they are called little bundles of booger.

My Dream Girl
The girl of my dreams has flowing purple hair scented like bottles. Her eyes are two burly pools of Mountain Dew. And her lips remind me of scandalous knives. Her skin is as smooth and lovely as a/an thickheaded cardboard, and she has a figure like Kelly. When she enters a room, people always stare at her and say, "PISS! What a/an berrylicious woman!" Her sense of humor is always simple, and people marvel at her lengthy vocabulary. In my dreams I see her wearing a/an cautionary dress and a diamond calorie in her hair. I would gladly give up all my sheep for one evening with this serious female. Her name is Kelly.